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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?