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I have been close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome many challenges, which I admire. But, she's often blindsided by others. Her husband left her, which came as a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances drifted away during that time, since they had been only interested in him. It shocked her deeply. She made more effort in our friendship, likely realised more acutely the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many in her circle have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. Her last employer turned on her, even though she had been an excellent employee, she departed unaware of why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both retired leading to more time together, however, I feel my role in our friendship is as the audience. I start discussion points but she shifts the talk toward things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has strong opinions. My effort is to suggest verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been planning a vacation abroad I have traveled to on several occasions even called home previously. I tried to offer advice, but this was unappreciated. She really solely sought my agreement with her choices. I've just come back from four weeks in that country and she wants to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, however, I feel she will ever grasp the effect of her actions on my self-esteem. Currently, I am in distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, yet this is seldom the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation with a view to a solution requires bravery and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be objective and clear like an unbiased account. Step two involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute here. Your feelings are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to question how you are both will alter the interaction between you."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to listen to her. One effective method is to say her:

"Now you talk and I promise to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be impactful in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She may dismiss all you say, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative of their life they cannot abandon because their very survival is tied to it and it's all they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route in such cases, mere obstacles. However, she might start out this way before reflecting your perspective. If you don't achieve an agreement, it will give you peace knowing you were honest with her.