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The current period marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your decision to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {